Archive for April, 2009

Games ftw lol #1

April 29, 2009

This is one of a few posts  which I plan on making regarding this subject. They may not all be of the same ilk but the overall subject will be the same.

My name is Sam.

My name is Sam and I am a convicted felon. The reason I’m here before you all is because  I wish to rid myself of my addiction to a video game. I need to do this. I need to do it as it is part of my sentencing. More importantly I need to do it for me. When people look at me now, they don’t see me. They don’t see the young man who, only a year ago, used to have a bunch of friends or was captain of the local hurling team. They see the “The gamer who snapped”.

I’m supposed to tell you about my addiction. This time last year I was perfectly healthy. I went to church every week. I spent every other waking moment studying and practicing so I could be a modern up to date visionary just like my writing idols of today’s news papers. (Bible > Daily Mail > 1980’s TRUE school books is the way to go imo lol. *beep ZZZAAAP!*) …

*Groans* pluuurrreuuum…. uh… that was my “anti-gaming thoughts chip”,  implanted deep within my brain. It keeps me from acting like a immature child, because only the childish or mentally unstable wish to shorten their typing to a few easy to use letters for speed of communication. If I so much as think of a PG 15’s + thought then I may end up dieing of a catastrophic brain aneurysm. All thanks J. Thompson Inventions plc “Keeping us truly happy by removing all fun since September 25, 2008“. The inner happiness I get from this, far overcompensates the terrible disfiguring to my face due to the surgery … is what my parents told me after it was reccomended to them by our local priest.

Where was I? Oh right. How I got addicted yes.

Due to my forced requirement by my parents to make a effort to enjoy presents received at my birthday and also the fact that I must have been very lazy and irresponsible at the time, I fired up my new playstation 2. Within a ungodly four whole hours later where I neither studied nor prayed I’ve already got a top score! Two hours later the  “evil corrupting mind control” kicked in and it was like I could just absorb every technique the game showed me. I went from a totaly innocent child to having all the horrible experience, knowlege and tendencies of a crinimal thug.

Amazingly it took a whole 48 hours after first playing the game for me to finnially snap and go on a rampage. 72 hours after first play I’m here already, yes.

I don’t know how I will deal with my  addiction to Tony Hawks Underground (T.H.U.G). I really need something drastic prevent me from going skate boarding on private property again with my newly found, sublimminally transmitted techniques (or “going on a criminal rampage” as the Daily Mail referred to it).

I guess all I have to rely on is my faith in god, the wisdom of my government, local community committees dedicated to judging while not “corrupting” themselves by having any experience with the matter. Oh and J. Thompson industries for their great ideas for dealing with the gaming problem. I hear they’re coming out with a device that blurs nudity in real life isn’t that great? lol … oh shi-*beep ZZAAAP* …. *thud*

excerpt from The Video Game Rehab Center  patient logs.

RIP Sam.

I hope your tearing that halfpipe up in heaven man.

Blog about games? Must do reviews I guess.

April 28, 2009

Fallout 3 Review

I bet he has a massive cock too.

I bet he has a massive cock too.

It’s fun I ‘spose.

Chatting with the interwebs, why?

April 27, 2009
Pointless? Yes. Engrossing? For some.

Pointless? Yes. Engrossing? For some.

Its been a long day. I am in the mood for a game of something graphically violent so I can vent that adolescent urge to just “make ‘splodes lol”  and enjoy myself.  Within a few minutes of getting home I find myself not asking for buddies to join me as we kill multicolored sprites in the latest fashion*. Instead I fire up Steam and plonk myself into whichever of the communities I’m a part of that has the largest chat. I then talk utter, utter rubbish about absolute nothing where “thats what she said!” gags are the highest peak of sophistication I can possibly reach. I really wanted to figure out why.The immediate things that come to mind would be:

Joining it for the information. Nah, smallish chatrooms aren’t really known for the sharing of unheard of news.

Oh bollocks, I just rambled for the last 150 odd words didn’t I? No deleting it, no backwards steps, there is only typing onwards I’m afraid. Since I hate to see my words wasted I shall put the excerpt  at the end of this in all its glory.

Back to the topic at hand.

Another possible reason for me spending my gaming time watching a grey box is for the possible chance to “meet”, if thats the right choice for the situation, a famous person from “the biz” (oh how glitzy it sounds like, the  games industry is now to only be referred to as “The Biz” from now on.). That might actually be closer to the truth as I am not alone in wanting to have a chat with the writers who, in a way, have shaped who we are as gamers. They’ve told us everything from what to play, to how to play. Occasionally they even shown us the reasons why we play by giving fantastic features on some aspects. I honestly doubt I would have experienced half of my gaming highlights without having read a PC Gamer magazine or browsed through the latest trailers collected on blogs. Wanting to meet them is a valid reason to enter the chatroom. But still …  Nah. I know for some reason that thats not it, mostly becasue that odd little hope of having a nice chat with the journo’s is obviously unrealistic and we all know that. The same way you know you enjoy rainbows for a different reason than thinking theres a pot of gold at the end, even though thats all magic of it.

I realised a while ago, while typing this, the reason I spend so much time pointlessly spamming mind numbing assortments of words for other people to untangle, instead of popping heads.  The reason is, it’s just more satisfying. I honestly get more pleasure out of saying something people find funny and knowing they’ll remember it than I would from comming first in a round of tf2. But I’ve realised that and I’m still really fucking annoyed becuse that just leaves me with…..”why?”

Lambo

*This happens to manifest itself as a rather fun metaphor for life. Work with people to live longer and if your not killed by your peers the big bad monster shall ravage you endlessly untill your on your back shitting yourself while your body is picked clean until nothing of you is left…. A.K.A. Left 4 dead Survival Mode

The spawn of my lack of self discipline while writing .

If I found out that Blizzard finally had enough money to simply buy a country (Switzerland for example) and reshape it into a real life wow for the masses. Then I wouldn’t go straight to Tim Tom and Terry to spread it in the chat room. I’d sell the info to the biggest games sites and tell them they must wait a week before posting about it. I’d then email it to the most insignificant and overlooked site in the world and tell them to spread it right away. That way when the info comes out on the major sites, absolutely no one would believe it because it seems like rumor that the tiny site made for attention.  This is not me being mean or a douche . The truth would eventually be known, all the sites would get their credibility back and the tiny site gets launched up into the spotlight for having the biggest story a week before every other site in the world. I, on the other hand, would use the money to buy up all the tickets to the new WOW amusement park.


Hello world!

April 27, 2009

Since I’m both shamelessly unoriginal and like to think that I know a thing or two (possibly 3 things if I rack my brain) about programming, I shall leave up the default title for this post.

This blog is mainly in existence for the sole reason of giving me a place to rant and talk about things I deem talk worthy. If I don’t talk about something that probably means its absolutely rubbish. That might not be entirely true, but I’m really not a fan of the backspace so it stays. Expect talk of mostly games and media and probably some random stuff I come across in my day.

Blogging myself is new to me and that presents 2 problems. Firstly it shows my lack of good writing skills and secondly this is only one of several things I’m working on so it will neither  be updated regularly nor frequently, unless I enjoy it. If that is the case, it shall be both until I eventually grow tired of it anyway.

Lambo